Fibromyalgia and the first steps to inner peace.

We all have different ideas about what would make us happy, different levels of materialism and attachment, we are all beautifully unique. Happiness is therefore very much an inside job.

Everyone has the powers to change their life. admittedly this is impossible to achieve over nigh, it takes time and practice butt the hardest part is taking the first step.

Some days I write on social networks "I have had an absolutely beautiful day"  It may have been a really painful one physically or emotionally, but I always manage to find beauty within in.

True Story

I remember one evening I had such an emotional night. The boy's father had broken the court order and was drinking heavily during his contact time. When I arrived I had to gain entry to collect them to safety but he refused, the police when I dialled 999 could not assist me due to an emergency so my only option was to gain entry myself. I broke the door down, got the boys home safe and then had to wait for the domestic violence team to check on me and the boys and make sure we were safe.

Once the boys were snuggled up asleep in bed I made a lovely cuppa and happened to pick my favourite china cup. My evening post on Facebook was something about tea in a pretty china cup tasting so much nicer. A girl commented saying how I lived with my head in the clouds and what did I know about real sadness when my life was so filled with china cups, polka dots and vintage kitsch!

I think I deleted her after this, who needs people like this in your life?

Here are things that I incorporated into my life long ago when I needed to rid my mind of negativity and create more happiness and positive within my life.

Life is about appreciating the small stuff. 

This takes practice and I am not saying I achieved this over night I am simply showing it is possibly. The only person who can make this possible for you is YOU.

How many small moments in a day are truly beautiful yet you do no give them the credit they deserve?

Small moments such as a nice cup of tea, feeling content as you crochet, a text from a friend. 

Write then down, appreciate the moment more. 
I find listing the small moments each day helps to show that the small moments really do add up.

The happiness jar is a place to store a happy moment of each day.  Even on really terrible days we can all think of one happy moment no matter how small it may be. 

It is a great way to focus on the simple things around us daily. 

We often rush through life and never notice the simple things such as a pretty flower in a garden on the school run, a baby snail, a really nice cup of tea, someone saying something to you that made you smile. It is a positive reinforcement of these moments that we need in our lives.

Make yourself a jar, try and make it as quirky and fun as possible. 

Use pretty pieces of paper, post-it notes or simple squares of white paper to write your daily happy on. 

Have your jar placed in a prominent place within your home? Mine is in my bedroom on the happy self-next to my little bits n bobs I have collected. 

Buy yourself a book called THE FOUR AGREEMENTS and read it, then read it again!
This book was recommended to me many years ago and for about the last 10 years plus it has been my bible and re-read so many times. 

You can pick it up on eBay for under £5 these days so don't rush out to pay high st prices. 

The elastic band is used for training your mind to ignore negativity this is a simple training technique that can have such powerful effects upon your life. 

All you need to start is an elastic band or a hair bobble.

Put the bobble on your wrist and when you think or say something negative then swap it to the other hand. It will be shocking in the first few days/weeks how much negativity we surround ourselves with. 

So tell the horrible nasty invisible friend that shadows you daily you are no longer playing out with them as they say horrible things to you all day. 

Write a letter to someone that has hurt you. One of the hardest things is never getting to hear someone say sorry for the pain they put yours through. You never truly obtain closure as you can not release your emotions as  you were not given the opportunity to say what you wanted to. To express how they made you feel and that you have moved on and no longer want or need that pain in your life. 

During difficult times in my life, I have written so many letters of this kind. None were ever posted, the therapy is within the writing process not the actual posting of the letter. Make sure you have tissues handy as the tears will flow and let them as it is a superb release of toxins to be able to cry. 

Grounding and meditation are essential and you don't need to be a tree hugger to perform these daily, you simply need to know how and set about some time. 

Grounding is so simple. To be "grounded" simply means to be present here and now, it is like our own strength force field surrounding us from negative energy by making you aware of what is happening in your vicinity at this time. 

When I am not grounded I feel floating and uncertain of who I really am.  It is during this time that negativity is allowed into my world and I often allow people and things to irritate me. 

You can either ground yourself to the earth or the sky, I always chose the earth as I can visualise roots entwining around me easier. 

To ground into the earth, feel your feet, your body, your presence in now-time. Feel how the ground supports you and concentrates on your breathing. Close your eyes and imagine your body has roots that are growing through the earth. Your roots are reaching down and exploring the earth, the molten rock far down, all the way to the crystalline core of the earth. Visualise you are fixing yourself firmly within the earth and then breathe deeply, and exhale all negativity. 

Andy Puddicombe, co-founder of Headspace is such a dude at meditation and mental clarity his book is a very good read for anyone wanting to practice mindfulness should have a read. 

Here is a link for meditation by Andy Puddicombe, it shows pictures also so it may be more beneficial for a lot of people to understand. If you still find this hard then simply lay on your bed in silence and practice breathing exercises. By simply controlling and slowing down your breathing it will have a calming effect upon your mind. (But not too slow as you will die!) 

I could easily harness the power of Disney magic and use a million quotes to show what I am  trying to show you but one crazy old wise monkey will do. 

Never let the past define your future happiness.  If yesterday was a painful bad day then don't dwell on it as today may be a beautiful one. 

So grab yourself a nice snuggle blanket and a Disney movies as there is so many thought provoking quotes. Mr Walt Disney I applaud you. 

The wall of wisdom is a place you can collect all your happy stuff together, photos, quotes, tickets stubs, anything that is a reminder to you of happiness. 

In my old house I had a huge kitchen and on one wall I hung string with little pegs so I could hang my collection of quotes, it was called the wall of wisdom. As the kitchen was very retro it looked super. 

Alternatively you could make a memory board and slot in between the ribbon all your bits and bobs. 

Finally never forget your little girl dreams as it is so easy to become lost in growing up that you forget who you are and what truly make you happy. 

Never allow illness to steal your smile.

Today take control of your life and be the woman you dreamed, as a little girl, you would some day grow up to be. Some of you may have forgotten that dream, and others may have settled. Stop living someone else's dream and start living your own. Remember that little girl inside still believes in you so do not let her down. 

 Love and gentle hugs to you all

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  1. I love this post. Definitely going to check out The Four Agreements x

    1. Thank you Christy, it is a great book it should be issued free to everyone. Have a lovely weekend xx


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