Acceptance of Fibromyalgia as a rites of passage

When we are born we celebrate different stages in our growth, we call them milestones. Here in the United Kingdom, these milestones are recorded in little red books by the child's health visitor. Thing such as growth, weight, abilities such as being able to walk, talk, build blocks on top of each other are all recorded. Parents now do this on social media they take photos at various stages of pregnancy holding little blackboards declaring how many weeks they are. The child is born and they continue this theme of recording growth.

Then suddenly it all stops unless you are from certain religions or cultures. There are many huge milestones in the transition from child to a woman yet we do not celebrate them.

Why is starting your menstrual cycle not celebrated? It is all a very hush-hush affair yet it is a beautiful transformation from a child to a woman. Well in theory on the woman part as I started mine at ten and I was still very much a child, but a cake and a balloon would have been nice!

Transformations into a new way of life can be very subtle such as the feeling you get when you leave school or it can be things such as a young man walking to a monastery wearing his white robes of a layman to show his good intentions before being ordained as a Monk.

We really do need to celebrate the rites of passage in our lives more. A rite of passage is according to Moore and Habel, "a ritual action through which the initiate is separated from one world and taken to another." Obviously, this is in the metaphorical sense as we stay on Earth but emotionally and often physically we shed a layer and become a different person.

Often people do these rituals and have no idea they are part of them such as Catholics. They are born, baptised, the first confession, holy communion, marriage, last rites and death are all rites of passage!

Have a think of all the things in your life that changed you. I bet there are many times when you walked out the other side of the tunnel a different person. Divorce is a huge one but do we mark the transformation, the impact it had on us?

So what does all this have to do with Fibromyalgia?

Well a lot really, any life-changing events should be discussed, celebrated or even marked in a simple way in order to find acceptance. This is what annoys me so much about adulting we never do this we just rush through life too busy to even look up sometimes and appreciate the beauty around us.

When we are diagnosed with a long-term medical illness such as Fibromyalgia it is life changing and so many people mourn the old version of who they were. A massive milestone yet no celebration.
Okay, it would be nuts to throw a "Yay I have a long-term illness" party.

Society really would point the finger at us then.

But we should make small milestones in the journey with fibromyalgia such as
  • accepting help
  • accepting mobility aids
  • accepting fibromyalgia as an integral part of your life

Even if you live a solitary life then celebrate it on your own. Buy yourself a new trinket, item of jewellery, even a rose bush for your garden.

This week I celebrated my acceptance of change with Fibromyalgia.

Each Summer I get a slight improvement of symptoms and fewer flares. I look forward to enjoying life a little more but this year my symptoms shifted back to how they were in 2015. (This was my worst year with Fibromyalgia) That is just how Fibromyalgia works so no point getting sad about it. I am proud of myself for smiling through this and finding so much love and gratitude in my day. 

It sounds really sappy and cheesy but it is true, I am just happy to be able to smile at the small stuff so I decided to mark this level of acceptance with a trinket. 

There is a lady on Instagram {Link here} who makes such beautiful handmade jewellery. She recently posted a piece made from vintage silver spoons with the wording Gratitude across.... 

I had to have it being a spoonie  {read what is a spoonie?}

If you would like a Spoonie trinket to celebrate spoonie life then here is the ladies Etsy page she has many other items with a spoon theme. 

So yesterday was a tired painful one and today may be one also but I am happy and I know this flare will pass, it always does. 

If you are in a painful period yet still smile then celebrate the gratitude. 
Fix your crown and tell yourself you are wonderful.

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Love and gentle hugs

Ness xx


  1. I think the hardest thing to accept was when years into the stuff I was told by an arthritis doc that I need to realize I was not the same person I used to be and I need to let things go. I knew all this, I have dealt with it for years but to have a doc look at me and tell me that made me almost cry. Thank you for your blog and reminding me that I can't help what this stuff does to my body, how it makes me feel but it is how I accept it that makes the difference. I try to laugh everyday, find something I am thank for and smile.....thanks.


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