Sunday thoughts from a Fibromyalgia mind #18/5



If you are new to reading my blog Sunday thoughts from a fibro mind are just a small update on my inner thoughts from the week usually typed out with my Sunday morning coffee and some of the images from my phone. (If I have any from that week) 

Sunday thoughts are a tough one this week as my mind has been all over the place so if it comes across in my writing then I am sorry.

Can't really pinpoint one singular reason for the foggy haze of overthinking, I guess it is a combination of feeling flared, giving up sugar withdrawals, losing a beautiful inspirational lady who helped me loads. Then there is the approach of May bringing the anniversary of my ex-husband's death and of a really horrendous birth and postpartum period.

But you know what? Rather than dwell on the things I can not change I will use them for guidance and growth to appreciate life so much more.

Guidance and growth are forefronts in my mind today. I sat reading a beautiful article this morning on The importance of being there for yourself. 

"I realised I cannot take away someone else’s pain or rescue them. I cannot change what they are feeling, patch it up and move along. All I could do was witness, be there and be present"

"A key to holding space for yourself is to see yourself with all your faults and without judgement and criticism. To see yourself with kindness and love, just as you would a friend. It’s making friends with your fear, inviting Cousin Self-Doubt, Mrs Perfectionist, Brother Criticism, and Sister Putdown, in for a cup of tea around the fireplace."

It really was a much-needed read. I often think the universe sends me the exact things when I need them most. I am going to copy down some of the key points I need to work on from this article and focus on healing my thoughts this week. 



Life is about looking at things the way they are and finding your own beauty from it. If you have always been told that Dandelions are weeds then you never see their beauty as a pretty yellow flower that is a symbol of a wish even when it's beauty fades.

I don't fear my more pensive moments anymore I actually embrace them and grow from them. The fear was always once so prevalent that deep thoughtful moments were the signs of depression reoccurring.
Maybe they are.
Maybe I am now just so in tune with my body and mind now that I am alerted to the signs and have all my coping strategies in place. 

One of these coping mechanisms is knowing when I need to be alone and when being alone is not good for my happiness. This happened on Sunday, I felt a bit ropey but still knew I needed to get out as the other option was a day alone and that didn't appeal to me.



I look at this photo and even though I am happy and smiling, my eyes never hide the pain. Regardless of this, it was a great making memories day with my son and his girlfriend. We met up for lunch with one of my elder sons that is in University and I grabbed myself a little vintage bargain, two kitsch ornaments.



My quest this week has been to completely eliminate sugar from my diet as my glucose levels in my blood are too raised. How happy was I to find this delicious, healthy Vegan sugar-free cake? It was thoroughly enjoyed sitting at home drinking tea with my feet up admiring my lilac bush in the garden. 



As you may have gathered, May is always a challenge to me but May gave me my beautiful youngest son. His birth was filled with so much pain so the universe gave me this beautiful soul to fill my life with love. He is truly a magical loving child so I am very blessed.

We will be celebrating his 12th birthday this week so we are looking forward that that very much.

May will be a spiritual growth month as I always gain some clarity once I have survived another May. As a symbol of this growth, I plan on planting some plants, a new tree and roses. I can nurture and love them as I watch them grow, just as I do with self-love.

So this month I am having a pilgrimage home to my own soul. 



I will find a way to make sure this week is wonderful at my level of energy. 

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Love and gentle hugs

Ness xx


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