Stages of Fibromyalgia acceptance




Living with Fibromyalgia is very different for each person. I always worry when people first find me as a happy fibromyalgia blogger that they may judge themselves as they feel very different towards this illness as I do. We found each other at different stages of fibromyalgia acceptance that is all. Honestly, I have been where you are now, I totally relate to the way you feel as I felt that way also.

When I talk of stages, some instantly think back to an article that is thrown around fibromyalgia groups about the "Stages of Fibromyalgia" There are no true medical defined stages. It is an illness that will wax and wane through your life presenting different symptom severity.

Some may argue it is a progressive illness and can display true facts about their life with fibromyalgia and how it has clearly become progressively worse.

Some may argue that it is like a roller coaster with no true pattern, many loops, fall and rises and often going in reverse. Again I reiterate;


Living with Fibromyalgia is very different for each person.


Being an ex-nurse, I have to bring in some of my past education into this blog but promise not to go all medical, technical and boring...

Years ago a clever lady called Elisabeth Kubler Ross first identified the five stages of grief in her groundbreaking book, On Death and Dying in 1969. 




The five stages, denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance are a part of the framework that makes up our learning to live with our loss. They are tools to help us identify our emotions. There is no real order, timescale spent in each one and everyone goes through all of them. 




When you are diagnosed with Fibromyalgia in many ways you have to mourn the person you once were.

"The first year of my diagnosis of Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome was the hardest for me as I was still very much in the closet. Layer by layer I very slowly revealed who I am.


There is no point coming out of the closet if I did not even know who I was. First I had to teach myself who I was. I had to understand my illness, how it affected me and become friends with the new me. Grieving for the old me was such a difficult process." Source Accepting my life with Fibromyalgia

Sounds dramatic but it is true. It is like you walk into a purple fibromyalgia tunnel and emerge a different person. This was hard to accept, why me? I did not want this illness and I battled so hard to ignore it, threw strong painkillers at it so I could carry on with my life and then I crashed and flared hard so realised I had to accept it as it was destroying me fighting against it. 

It is not a clear path to acceptance, some days even now I find myself back in another stage but I acknowledge this as normal and healthy, I allow myself this emotion and accept that it will pass and I will just flow back to happiness.

Some days I have emotions about my life with fibromyalgia that I have not come across before even though I was diagnosed years ago. I just allow them...





There are stages you may find yourself in but please don't always feel you are a failure to slip out of positivity and acceptance. Have a watch of this video it is a great way to explain embracing negative feelings also.







In 1917 Freud wrote, 


“grieving is a natural process that should not be tampered with.”

No one can tell you how to grieve the old you before Fibromyalgia or how to live happily with Fibromyalgia but we can say, "yes, me too, I felt the same, you are not alone."


Some of the most comforting words in the universe are “me too.” 

That moment when you find out that your struggle is also someone else’s struggle, that you’re not alone, and that others have been down the same road. 

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Love and gentle hugs xxx



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