A lonely hearts ad for a single Fibromyalgia girl.



Single female age 45 looking for love, well sort of love, maybe more an uncomplicated version of it. Let's not beat around the bush here, I have an illness called Fibromyalgia. It is best I tell you at this stage as it avoids all the boring, "but you don't look ill" chats. 
So what am I looking for in a man: 

  • You need to be able to make me laugh as I do need a good laugh but not too much as I will wee (leaky bladder you see). 
  • Don't worry too much about looks as my eyesight goes funny with fibro, my optician says it is not related but what does he know! 
  • Someone of a standard to poor education as complex conversations will be lost with my fibro fog and I glaze over easily so remember it is a date, not the debate club. 
  • I don't do phone calls, they bug me so text me but only during set times as I have a rest during the day.  
  • I like to wear pretty dresses so maybe we could go out for a meal but before you book please go and check out a few things. This blog may help with some tips. {Read: My dream chronic illness restaurant} 
  • If the dating progresses to physical then I will need a week or so between any bedroom fun. All that swinging from the lampshades takes it toll on a fibro girl so will result in a flare, during this time I will be mostly unwashed, pyjamas and hairy legs so just leave me alone. 
  • Never call at my house unexpected, this is not romantic. It takes me a few days preparing for a date so I won't shock you with the me in between dates. 
  • Nausea can be a problem so lay off the cheap aftershave it makes me feel like vomiting. 
  • Saves any confusion if you try to touch my boobs as we kiss I no longer wear a bra so the fastest way to my boobs is more waist area. 
  • Someone with a qualification in massage as when you say, "Shall I massage your back?" you really best know about correct pressure as it may result in a hospital trip for you if you press too hard. 
  • You need to accept that I may cancel arrangements, often. This is not me adopting a "treat them mean, keep them keen" approach to us, it is simply I get unwell at no warning. 
  • Hugs need to be gentle as they hurt. 
  • If you ask me how I am and I reply, "fine" that is not classed as a real lie. It is just easier to not speak the truth sometimes. 
  • Please clarify what you mean when you say, "Talk dirty to me" as I may start to tell you that I have overused dry shampoo this week as my mind was not mentally prepared for styling my hair.
  • Your tea making skills will be assessed, good tea makes life better. 
That is about it for requirements. 

I am joking obviously if you do manage to attract the attention of a fibromyalgia girl just allow them to be themselves. Be kind, honest and understanding. We are so worthy of love and really do have so much love to give but you need to understand us and how fibromyalgia affects us.


Disclaimer: I am a single lady but this is not a real advert I am simply writing for fun. However, if you are a Prince on a white horse and live in a kingdom made from crochet, pink lace and have an endless supply of homemade cake served on a pink polka dot plate, I may consider changing my single status. 


 Love and gentle hugs to you all



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular Posts