My fibromyalgia mind changes for a stress free life

If Fibromyalgia has gifted me with anything it is the ability to listen to my body better now and know when changes need to be added to my life. 

Laying in bed last night my mind was on full overthinking mode. I worried about everything: 

  • Past arguments I may not have handled correctly. 
  • A teacher that never gave my son a biscuit once at the break in school and how he must have felt (he is now 22 and possibly can not even remember that teacher let alone the biscuit)
  • Not doing more crafts with the three big sons. 
  • Not having a garden for the three big sons.
  • Will I always be unwell? 
  • Why did I date ..... he was an idiot. 
  • My dogs dying.
  • Money that was spent on a garden television programme that I felt they never got the monies worth so I designed one in my head for £2000
  • If I died the youngest sons would be orphans.
  • I am too fat so I will have a heart attack. 
  • If I die in my sleep now will the boys know I loved them?
  • Will my sons really REALLY know what they mean to me? 

I battled for hours to turn my brain off and to find the calm. This is something that doesn't happen often, you see I think a lot but I am not an overthinker if that makes sense at all. For me, my thoughts are filled with a magical passion, I have a childlike nature to go off on my own with conversations and get excited but I don't over think situations. 

The past is in the past. 
It is what it is.
They are what they are. 
Blah de blah de blah you get the gist? 

Overthinking for me is a sign of stress and no way I am having stress in my life. My old life was filled with stress so I avoid it now and keep it a thing of the past. 

So I woke today and planned a change for a stress-free Summer.

1. Stop trying to change the world. 

Do you make your dreams and ambitions so big they are now very unobtainable due to chronic illness?

Yes me too. I am so very guilty of this and maybe one of the reasons I was so stressed going to sleep last night. I had an amazing plan for a big network for women with fibromyalgia linking all info, blogs, support groups in one place free for all to view. 

I made a start on this last week, designed a blog etc, then today it has been scrapped. I deleted the lot to keep things small I am stress-free.

We really need to stop placing this massive desire in our mind and start to focus on what we have already.  

2. Accepting things you have accomplished already. 

Do you ever start new projects to support number 1 and often forget what you have already accomplished? 

Me too, I need to focus so much on what I have achieved in raising awareness of fibro and stop wanting to do more as it makes me ill. 
  • I had a wish to make people smile with Fibromyalgia.
  • Starting a fibromyalgia lifestyle blog. The mission was to a put real face to an extremely debilitating illness that affects millions around the world. To have my story told and my voice heard to raise awareness and understanding.
  • Start a group for women with fibromyalgia so people don't feel alone.
It really is better to do one thing small and do it really well than to feel a failure trying to do too much. 

3. Need more time offline. 

Do you spend way too long online?

Me too, I am so guilty of my online time then wonder why I am so exhausted for real time.
My youngest and I lay in my bed snuggled watching wrestling last night and I want more of that. First and foremost I am a Mum, I need to digest number 2 and number 1 then unplug the laptop, delete a few apps on my phone and spend more quality time with the ones I love. 

We are always together within the same house but I want to have no external distractions during "our time" One of the worries I had last night was that the eldest sons grew so fast. I can not change that but I can appreciate every single second with them now. 

It is so time-consuming and mentally draining to be sat with a laptop or phone. When you already have a limited supply of energy it really could be managed better.

4. Start some lists

Do you need some order in your life and mental clarity? 

Me too, I need lists they keep my life in order and this has been neglected so far this year. Here is a list of the lists I intend on keeping to this summer:

  1. The to-do list of weekly jobs and reminders that need doing. 
  2. The memory list as my mind is a sieve. 
  3. The blog planner list for the year so I don't lose my blogging mojo.
  4. The blogs I love to read list. (I will blog this) 
  5. Happiness list of things I like to do that makes me happy. (I will blog this) 
  6. The memory box list (I will blog this) 
  7. The meal plan list of summer teas.  (I will blog this) 
  8. The holiday packing list. We are going to Haven in August as we always do for our British caravan holiday. (I will blog this) 

Even if you have small things on a list such as wake up, brush teeth, do some crochet it is such a visual accomplishment to see you have achieved that. 

Are you a worrier?
Do you now listen to your body for signs of stress?

 Love and gentle hugs to you all


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