Feeling like you should be Spring cleaning but Fibromyalgia says NO!

I have spent Winter wishing for Spring and now the sunshine and signs of growth are showing I am not ready. 

Each year since fibromyalgia I always seem to get in a big tizzy with myself as I want to create lists, clean windows, redecorate and freshen up all the rooms, get all the beds changed, do the weeding, landscape the garden yet I can't. 

Somedays I wish my mind and my body would have a long chat and decide on what I am doing that day and actually decide on a plan. My mind still thinks I am able, yet my body knows different. 

I am not really sure what the point of this blog is but it just feels good to have someone to talk to, people that understand. A good waffle and ponder about my emotions daily gives me clarity. 

Many people view me as the old version of myself, she is long gone, she had a super cool Viking burial in my mind and I have accepted that she is no longer coming back. I am lucky in many aspects as not many people can say they lived two lives. Obviously, I am talking metaphorically silly, I am not that mad yet that I think fibro killed me and I really was reborn a new me. But I really am two different people. 

Old me had physical strength but often my emotional strength was fragile. 
This woman now has the emotional strength yet physical strength is now dependable on others. 
My sons and I prefer the person I am now. 

Odd really that illness made me a better person yet it really did. I started following Buddhism and reading about that way of life when I was angry my marriage had failed in my twenties, I did not want bitterness, it was so draining. Again I regained this practice for mental clarity after my second marriage failed but there was always something missing, no matter how much I tried for inner calm and clarity I never truly knew myself as a woman, Fibromyalgia gave me that insight into knowing who I was. 

All this procrastination is not getting the windows clean, redecorating done to freshen up all the rooms, the beds changed, do the weeding or landscape the garden. But that is something new me can't do anyway. I can, however, sit by the fire smiling, resting and showing other women reading my blog that we all share the feeling that we should be doing a massive spring clean. 

But unless Doris Day comes knocking on my door to give my home a "woman's touch" then it is not getting done and I am not going to feel guilty about that at all. 

We never asked for Fibromyalgia did we?

So here is my top tip for Spring cleaning when you have Fibromyalgia. 

Spring is a huge full season so the most you can do in one day is what Fibro allows you to do. If you max up on pain relief and blitz the house and garden your Spring will be laying in bed. You will then miss out on so many beautiful moments in your day, small things like a super yummy cup of tea or the sun shining through the window. Ignore the fact that your windows look like they are opaque and have a film of soup on them from the Winter, that will be done when it is done, and if it does not then don't worry there is no such thing as The Window Police. Just rest guilt free and focus on your health and what your body needs. 

Love and gentle hugs to you all


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